LIFE MATTERS – A column by Margaret O’Donnell
Thousands of stories are generated in our minds and we play them out like movies in our head many times during our day.
As long as we live our life lost in our thoughts we are causing ourselves unnecessary pain. A lot of our suffering is caused not by what is actually happening in the moment, but by us believing the stories made up by our thoughts about what is happening. When we listen to and believe these stories we end up causing ourselves undue distress.
A lot of our thoughts dwell on fears for the future and this is especially true in the current climate of Covid-19. It is hard to escape the continual media discussions usually around the possible future dire consequences either economically, or in the way we will be forced to live our lives. Our minds then are continually processing this information around a fearful future which causes feelings of unease and insecurity
Fear of the future is often seen as normal because it is believed that without fear we would not be motivated to take action. However there is a difference between the approach of a fearful future and the approach of a fearless future. A fearless future focuses on the now and is concerned with practical activities which can be done today in planning for the future. In the fearful future we live each day lost in mental images of things which might go wrong and which paralyse us from taking any action.
So much of our time can be spent worrying about what might happen tomorrow that we end up not experiencing what is actually happening today. Everything in life is as it is, but by believing in stress inducing stories we do not increase our ability to respond to the current challenges we are all facing. In fact it can often reduce our effectiveness by leaving us feeling helpless and without hope.
A useful exercise for bringing our immediate focus away from such fearful thoughts is the five senses exercise. The purpose of this exercise is to focus on what you are experiencing right now in all of the five senses.
Notice FIVE things you can see. Look around and focus on things that you don’t normally notice, like a shadow, the shape of furniture/trees etc. Then notice FOUR things you can feel, such as the texture of clothes you are wearing, the sun/breeze on your skin, or the surface of a table your resting your hands.
Follow this by noticing THREE things you can hear, this could be the chirping of birds, the hum of the fridge or the sound of traffic. Then notice TWO things you can smell, it could be the smell of grass just cut, food being cooked. Bring your awareness to smells you usually filter out.
Notice ONE thing you can taste right now at this moment. You can take a sip of a drink, eat something, or notice the current taste in your mouth.
Doing the five senses exercise, frees us from getting caught up being trapped in our mind stories, and prevents us from becoming overwhelmed because it brings us back to the moment.
Margaret O’Donnell, Chartered Work Psychologist (C. Psychol. P.S.s.I),
Coaching Psychologist, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, HR Consultant
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