By Michael Devlin
Sometimes small events come to pass that make us consider the raging conflagration that is the wider world.
You may or may not have noticed but the 2026 FIFA World Cup is currently in full swing. What should have been a celebration of the beautiful game is now overshadowed by controversy. Inflated costs of tickets and travel, referees being refused entry into the US; it would not be an exaggeration to say the tournament has been politicised beyond recognition.
Ahead of kick-off, we, the Devlins, decided to do a World Cup sweepstakes at home. The two little humans scooped the Netherlands and England, Herself bagged Argentina and I lucked out with Brazil. Waffle, amazingly, got the USA.
On the day in question, last Thursday, Waffle had run out of his special, vet-prescribed, anti-allergy dog food. Worse still, the delivery of a new bag of this uber expensive kibble hadn’t arrived. That meant for breakfast, Waffle was treated to half a tin of tuna – which he adored – wolfing down the fishy chunks faster than you could say, “Slow down, pal. That’ll give you heartburn.”
Do you know this is also the first World Cup where a host country has been at war with a participating nation? A raging conflagration.
The Iranian squad had to relocate from Arizona to Tijuana in Mexico after Trump at one stage warned it would not be “appropriate” for the team to participate “for their own life and safety.” One of his lackeys even suggested that Iran should be replaced by four-time winners Italy, who had failed to qualify.
So who died to make him king of the world?
As part of our sweepstake, the littlest of the little humans found a tombola website wherein she was able to input a load of teams. Taking it in turns, at the press of the spacebar, the tombola was able to spit out our respective teams and all things considered, I was pleasantly surprised with Brazil.
They might not be favourites this time around, but you can never discount the Seleção. After all, they’re the most successful World Cup Team of all time.
“Bra-zil! Bra-zil! Bra-zil!” I chanted in a singsong voice after Mr Tombola did me a favour. And yet, no-one ever knows who will win a football tournament. Minnows, Denmark scooped the European Championships in 1992 and that feat was arguably bettered by Greece in 2004.
I have always believed that it’s never a great idea to generalise about anything. Take the racist riots in Belfast for example. Migrants are generally being held responsible for the actions of one man. Even Waffle would understand that this is, at best, unfair and at worst, bigoted.
Or, take the USA playing at the World Cup. It’s one thing to acknowledge that Trump is a vindictive, congenitally stupid megalomaniac but quite another to tar all Americans with the same brush. Instead of generalising, we must disassociate the man (or so-called man) from the country.
Unfortunately, Waffle didn’t see it that way.
As he was unable to press the spacebar on his own, Waffle’s turn for a team took place after the tombola had chosen for the rest of us; he was at that time sitting on his haunches in the kitchen, licking his chops after his tuna breakfast.
“Waffle gets…” the littlest little human tantalised, “The USA!”
And as if in violent reaction, Waffle promptly vomited onto the kitchen tiles.
“Maybe it was the tuna,” someone said.
But I knew better.