It goes without saying that parents want the best for their children. We hope they’ll thrive in all they do. When our children encounter academic difficulties, it can be tricky to navigate. How much should we expect from the child?
There can be a fine line between being a supportive parent and a pushy parent, but apathy doesn’t seem like the right answer either.
A parent messaged Letterkenny Babies Facebook page during the week, wondering if her approach to this situation was the right one. She wrote: “I have four children and my youngest is in first class. Unlike the other three, he is struggling with reading, writing and spelling. I know it might be worth investigating, but I don’t think he needs to be assessed for dyslexia. He is just not very ‘book smart’ and that is fine by me. The school is fantastic and he is getting extra support and resource classes for which I am very grateful. On my end though, I don’t push him to do any extra reading or writing at home. We read at bedtime for enjoyment, but I don’t make it hard work for him. I told a friend this recently and she raised an eyebrow, telling me gently that she thinks I should be doing more to support him academically at home. I am wondering what your followers think? My priority is that he is a happy little boy. I feel the school is getting the best out of him as it is and I don’t want to come down on him too hard at home when he is so content both at school and home. Academic success isn’t for everyone. He has plenty of wonderful qualities and I feel he’ll be fine in life without being top of the class. His teacher has mentioned that he is making slow but steady progress and that is more than enough for me. But now I’m doubting myself and wondering if I should expect more from him academically? I’d be curious to hear other parents’ and also teachers’ opinions on this.”
Page members replied with reassurance that she was on the right track. “Don’t doubt yourself. You have a happy wee man. You’re doing a great job! As a teacher, I whole-heartedly agree with your approach. If he’s making progress and he’s happy, that’s a winning situation and you don’t need to change a thing.” Another added: “I think you are doing just great. I’m sure there’s homework coming home which is enough help on your end. Mammy knows best. Happy children are all that matters.”
There was a sense in the comments that parents shouldn’t leave the education of their children entirely up to the teachers. But that can mean teaching them to be kind to their friends, to care for their pets, not to drop litter and how to tie their shoelaces. Teaching them isn’t all about reading and writing, after all. Ensuring they get enough sleep and enough fresh air is crucial for a productive day at school. So, while I feel parents need to be involved and invested in the education of their children, it’s ok not to crack the whip for them to be top of the class. In fact, I think it’s refreshing to hear from a parent whose priority is the happiness of the child.
I don’t think we should push too hard to make our children ‘better’. If we want them to flourish, we need to let them know they are perfect the way they are.
There is no better mindset for a child to develop in than confidence, positivity and love.
Louise Flanagan is an admin of Letterkenny Babies Facebook page and the author of the children’s book series, Dragonterra and Dream Beasts.
www.dragonterra.ie
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