The topic of chores and pocket money allowances often crops up on Letterkenny Babies Facebook page.
Recently, a mother wrote in saying, “My daughter is 14 and has started demanding pocket money. This evening, I was told all her friends do chores and get pocket money. At the moment she has one very small chore to do daily for her phone credit. This is only done if I remind her and even at that, there is nearly always a row.
“What chores do people have their teenagers doing and how much pocket money do they get? Do people give pocket money for not doing chores?”
There was plenty of feedback for this mother. Interestingly, most people felt that chores and pocket money were both important for young people, but that they weren’t necessarily interconnected.
One parent wrote: “We don’t do pocket money for chores. They live here, so they help keep the place clean and tidy.
“You don’t get paid for cleaning your own house or preparing your own meals as an adult – not living in a mess is the reward.
“If somebody goes over and above to do something that is not a typical chore, such as helping a parent with DIY or a garden project, that’s different. They get pocket money every Friday to spend as they wish and separate money to buy their own casual clothes once a season.
“Neither depends on chores being done. Chores might be tidying, organising, hoovering, dusting the shared areas of the house as required, keeping their bedrooms tidy within reason, changing their bedlinen, loading and emptying the dishwasher, sorting their laundry, putting on or hanging out a load of laundry as required, basic meal prep or some cooking dependant on their age, setting the table and clearing up after meals, making their own lunches, putting out the bins, bringing in firewood. Whatever needs to be done that day.”
Another added: “At 14, she should be doing a lot more than one chore. I always thought my parents were strict but now, I’m 24 and realise they were just teaching me basic skills. We didn’t get a penny for it. We got our keep and Santa was very good – we were clearly on the ‘nice list’ – our birthday presents were great and we got treats here and there.
“If we wanted pocket money, we babysat or cleaned for other family members. I don’t think kids should get pocket money for doing basic household chores. They should want to help keep a clean environment to live in and really, her phone credit is her pocket money.”
Others added personal experiences from their own youth; “I started getting my money for chores when I was about nine years old. Dad always said that I could do anything around the house that wasn’t a safety hazard; the easier the job, the lower my payment would be.
“He also never reminded me to do my duties; if I was watching TV and the time to wash his car had passed, he would start doing it and that was my fiver gone. I had to learn that responsibilities come first, then entertainment. No one would knock on my door later to remind me to pay a bill.”
Most parents expect their children to help about the house – and rightly so – but most concede that they do need a little jingle in their pocket, too.
One mother wrote; “My son is 12. He gets the coal, empties the dishwasher, feeds the pets; generally, he helps with whatever is asked of him. In return, he doesn’t have a set amount of pocket money, but he will get money for whatever he wants at the weekend; it could be for football games, or the shop.”
The early teens can be very trying, but it’s worth noting that plenty of them do pull their weight at home.
Louise Flanagan’s Parenting Column appears each Thursday in the Donegal News.
