A PRIEST in the north west has called on practitioners to have a greater understanding of people who present to them with mental health difficulties.
The priest made his comments at the recent funeral of a young woman who had been living in Donegal prior to her tragic passing.
The woman and her husband had moved to Inishowen in the last number of years.
Addressing mourners, the clergyman told of how the young woman and her husband had shared a life together for 22 years.
The priest spoke of how the couple had many happy moments, enjoyed holidays abroad and loved being at home together.
“Married life, like for all couples, had its ups and downs, its difficulties and yet there were many, many happy moments that in the midst of the sadness of being here today should not be forgotten.
“They loved their holidays abroad, trying to fit in three most years, and her love for her home.
“No matter who came in (to her home) was fed and looked after well. She had that great ability of being warm as a hostess.
“Yet, she suffered. She suffered in a way that you and I will never understand, will never know the depths.”
The priest told of how the woman, along with her husband, sought medical help just a few weeks before her death.
“She and her husband went to the doctor and she pleaded with the doctor to help her. His response was, ‘not until you give up the drink’.
“Unfortunately, over and over again in my ministry as a priest I have experienced that same situation where someone has gone to get help and been refused it. It is the pinnacle of this decision that they decide that if nobody wants to help them what are they to do? The choices become very limited.”
The priest told of how the woman’s husband expressed his frustration with the medical service.
“I am told that she knew that things were not good. Her husband expressed to me his frustration and his anger with the medical service. Indeed, that sense of annoyance is real, felt over and over again in anyone who lives with someone who suffers from mental health issues.”
The priest said he believed people were being failed when it came to mental health issues. He said someone with a broken limb would not be turned away when seeking help.
“There is a problem out there, a severe problem and people are being failed. If you fell and broke your arm tonight you could go to casualty and get that arm set in a plaster of Paris and it will heal. Unfortunately, with the head, it does not work like that.”
The priest made the distinction that the woman died not from mental illness because she was drinking, but that she was drinking because she had mental health issues.
“She looked for help, like so many others. What would happen in casualty on a Saturday night if everyone who landed there with alcohol on them was turned away?,” asked the clergyman.
He also encouraged people to ask others how they are feeling more often.
“Rather than saying to someone ‘you are looking well’, we should ask them how they are feeling because a person might be looking well but none of us know how a person might be feeling inside.”
The priest said the woman lived a life of “courage and faith”.
“Just as you would say of someone who died of cancer; that they had faced their illnesses with great plenitude, she too faced hers with great plenitude also.
“Just like those who died from cancer, she died in the same manner from a different type of cancer. A cancer of mental illness. Many of us know what it is like to have a down day. Imagine having that down day 365 days of the year for many, many years.
“It was a long illness, bravely fought,” he said.
“The result of immense psychological pain and mental illness leaves us with the situation of the death of our loved one as confusing, heartbreaking, and unexplainable.
“How blessed was her husband to have met and married her, and how blessed were her brothers and sisters, her nieces and nephews, all who mourn her going,” the priest added.
