by Louise Doyle
THE heartbroken family of talented Ramelton musician Paul Mooney, who lost his life in a collision just days before Christmas last year, have been remembering him as their “pride and joy” and “best friend” as they prepare to mark the painful first anniversary of his death.
Mr Mooney, pictured left, (30), late of Glen Lower, died in a two-car collision on the N14 Letterkenny to Lifford road at Carrickballydoey on December 18. Paul’s partner, Nicolle, and the driver of the other vehicle were injured in the crash.
Ahead of Mr Mooney’s first anniversary Mass today at 12 midday in St Mary’s Church in Ramelton, his parents have spoken of the magnitude of their loss, the continued rallying support from friends and the community, and their son’s legacy.
Speaking to the Donegal News, Mr Mooney’s father, Morgan, said his family have survived the tragedy due to “extraordinary acts of kindness”.
“It’s been the worst year ever. He meant everything to me, he still does. He was my pride and joy. I know I won’t be the last father to bury a son, but it just feels like I am the only one.
“To lose a child is every parent’s worst nightmare.”
Mr Mooney revealed how Christmas preparations turned to profound grief when the family were plunged into tragedy.
“I had ordered a table setting for our Christmas table from Alcorn’s. When Paul died, I asked them to change this to a wreath for his funeral. They made a wreath of fresh flowers in the shape of a guitar for Paul, and wouldn’t take any more money from me. The man told me he had two sons of his own. It was an extraordinary act of kindness.
“There were people, we still don’t know who they are, who arranged the one-way traffic system for the wake. Everyone has been fantastic. The support we had at the aftermath, wake, funeral to the month’s mind and throughout this year has been exceptional.”
Mr Mooney told of how proud he was of his son’s major achievements on the music circuit, which saw him make enduring friendships with many people at home and further afield.
The Henry Girls planted a tree in his honour and dedicated a song to him at their last concert in Malin.
“Paul studied music in Manchester. I left him to Manchester. Even though he wasn’t a kid, I did wrap him up in cotton wool, I suppose. The first person he met was a girl called Taylor Southern. She has kept in touch with us since, and is here with us for his first anniversary Mass.
“His band, Boy M5 were so close to making it. I am devastated for Kyle O’Neill, his fellow band mate and best friend. Paul also played with a band called None the Wiser with Seán Mulhern.”
This year’s Party In The Park in Letterkenny celebrated the much missed talented musician as the main stage was poignantly renamed ‘The Paul Mooney Stage’. It was funded by donations of €7,000, in lieu of flowers following his death. A donation was also made to the Loft Youth Project, Donegal Youth Service, where Paul was supported during his formative years.
Mr Mooney said his biggest fear is that people will forget his son.
“I don’t want people to ever forget about Paul. I hope some day when Party in the Park is taking place that if someone asks who Paul Mooney was, someone will be able to tell them.
“I really feel for Nicolle, they were life partners. His two sisters, Julianne and Maeve are lost without him. We were all best friends.”
Mr Mooney’s mum, Gwen, told of how the family were uplifted by the beautiful Requiem Mass celebrated by Fr Michael Carney.
“It gave us a boost. Paul sang in the youth choir in Ramelton. Fr Carney was one of his teachers, and to have him celebrate his funeral was very personal for us.”
Describing the few months following her son’s passing as ‘Moonmorials’, when friends united in grief came together to celebrate his life, Mrs Mooney said: “His friends in Manchester got together. Paul died the week before Christmas and it was impossible for people to get here so Morgan and I went to Manchester in January and they had a night of music and celebration there in memory of Paul, organised by Taylor and a few other friends.
“That was followed by a night in The Cottage Bar in Letterkenny. It was the first time I was in a pub where the atmosphere was so sombre. It was sad to see so many young people there, simply bereft but it was a great reflection on Paul that people wanted to do that for him.
“I don’t know how those young people got up and sang songs so soon after Paul died. It was so moving that they wanted to do that. They shared the stage with him, shared so much of their lives. It was an absolute credit to them, to have that courage and resilience.
Mrs Mooney said the family have a “dread” for this time of year, revealing her son died on the birthday of her daughter, Maeve.
“December marks Paul’s anniversary, Christmas, New Year and birthdays. All our family have birthdays between now and February. Paul died on Maeve’s birthday. It’s awful for her, it takes all the joy out of her birthday.
“A few things that have stuck in my mind over the last year is just how many people are walking the same road as us who have lost children, partners. It give you courage that you can survive. We’ve had great support from our own friends and family and work colleagues. It is a blessing to have Nicolle still with us. Our own friends have been brilliant, to have a text, a call or someone drop in to us means the world.
“We as a family are grieving naturally for Paul, but I have met so many people who are grieving as hard as us. His friends that had to go to work the next week. The impact that it has had on them losing their friend. So many are grieving for Paul, quietly and on their own.”
Mr Mooney’s sister, Maeve, said her life has “completely changed” since the tragic death of her beloved brother.
“I have learned over the year that we each have lost a different Paul but every single one of them is great. It’s a big hole in our lives, and I don’t think it will ever get filled. I have been attending the Pastoral Centre for grief counselling and I’d just like to say thank you to them for their support.”
Taylor Southern compiled a scrap book of messages and photographs during an event in memory of Mr Mooney in Manchester, which his family have described as a “treasure”.
“Paul was my best friend. He always checked in on me. I still get messages now from people of how they still think of him every day and the family too,” she said.
Mrs Mooney said the family are surviving because of the outpouring of continued support.
“We truly appreciate everything that people have done over the last year. Everyone is welcome to attend Paul’s first anniversary Mass on Saturday, December 14, at 12 noon in St Mary’s Church in Ramelton, followed by a cup of tea in our home afterwards.”
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