By Louise Flanagan
The way that Trump and his crony JD Vance barked at Vladimir Zelensky last weekend was a televised atrocity. Like anyone else with a brain cell, I was truly horrified to watch such a display of bullying and bigotry unfold – and in the Oval Office, of all unfathomable places.
My kids watched over my shoulder, listening to my audible gasps with a few choice words mixed in. “Mum, how did Donald Trump get to be President anyway? Did people in America really vote for him – twice?!”
Seriously, how do you even begin to answer that? How do you explain the presence of such a despicable man in that position of power to a child? It turns everything we preach as parents on its head.
Our lessons on kindness, fairness and basic human decency are bulldozed with every toxic word he spews.
My children’s questions got me thinking about the fine balancing act it is to keep them informed of the current sorry state of the world they live in while also sheltering them from some brutal realities.
The question was put to Letterkenny Babies members and there was a range of responses. Some parents were firmly of the opinion that children don’t need to know anything about politics and conflict. Others felt that children need some awareness of the world around them to grow up with the knowledge and empathy that could finally lead to peace in our world.
One member wrote; “I think it’s important to answer any questions they have in a child appropriate way. If kids are very sensitive, you have to be careful, as they can take the weight of the world upon themselves, and that wouldn’t be good for their mental health.
“I do think it is important for parents to teach their kids that staying silent about injustice is not okay. Show your kids that you are standing with the oppressed by taking them to demonstrations etc.
“When they are older, don’t force them to come if they don’t want to, but it’s good to show them by example.
“Our world will never change if we stay silent and do nothing. It is our collective responsibility to act and speak out. Our kids can always do age appropriate actions. They see so much online, and will have questions.
“Those questions should be answered in an age appropriate way, so that you don’t overwhelm them with the weight of it all, but teach them about empathy, teach them about kindness, and teach them about always standing up for the oppressed etc.
“It will help them navigate the world we live in right now, and help make the changes we desperately need for a better world for everyone, not just our own wee worlds that a lot of us live in, where we care only for ourselves.”
Other parents felt that it would be a step too far bringing a child to a demonstration; it could be overwhelming for them. It’s a tricky one for sure.
Another parent added, “The world is a cruel place due to a small number of people and we have no control over it.
“Teach your children to concentrate on being the best version of themselves, about being kind. Switch off the news and radio even for a week and you’ll feel a lot better.”
I don’t feel that we can bury our heads entirely in the sand when it comes to telling our children about world conflict, but I would err on the side of caution so as not to overwhelm or worry them.
A parent added, “Unfortunately, if parents aren’t willing to address these issues with their children, this will not improve. Our children are the future, after all. There are loads of child-friendly resources available online to teach children about conflict.”
My eight year old son Evan recently told me that the most difficult question of all to answer is ‘why.’ (I have no doubt this profound statement is based on something he watched in a YouTube video, but nevertheless, I felt it was a valid observation.)
Why is the world at war? Why is someone as mean as Trump in charge? Why won’t they stop fighting and killing? They are near impossible questions to answer, particularly to a child.
The main thing we can do as parents is double down on our efforts to instill a sense of justice and compassion in the next generation. The earth is theirs to inherit, after all.
Louise Flanagan’s Parenting Column features every Thursday in the Donegal News.
