Bedwetting following potty training is par for the course, but for some kids, it can continue to be an issue well into the primary school years.
It’s far more common than most families realise. Yet because it happens behind closed doors, many parents feel alone, and sadly, many children feel ashamed. Very often, it’s simply a developmental stage that some children outgrow later than others.
In most cases, children who wet the bed feel embarrassed or annoyed at themselves. I know someone in their forties now, who remembers attempting to change their own bedsheets in the middle of the night or trying to dry the wet patch with a towel, because they were too ashamed to confess to their Mammy that they had yet another accident.
As parents, we shouldn’t saddle extra guilt or pressure on our kids; they aren’t wetting the bed out of laziness or defiance. As stressful as it can be, little bed-wetters deserve our patience and compassion.
Our response shapes how they see themselves.
Remind them that bedwetting is normal and not something they can control. Avoid punishment, frustration, or comparisons to siblings. Celebrate dry nights but keep your reaction neutral on wet ones.
There are some measures we can put in place to reduce the likelihood of a ‘wee’ incident in the wee hours. A predictable routine supports the body’s internal rhythms. Encourage bathroom use right before lights out. Establish a relaxing wind-down such as reading, soft music or dim lights. Avoid stressful or stimulating activities close to bedtime. This consistency and calm helps children feel secure and may contribute to dry nights.
The temptation might be there to reduce their fluid intake, but we all need to hydrate our bodies sufficiently for healthy bladder function. It is a good idea to limit sugary drinks though, and, for some reason that is unknown to me, blackcurrant cordial is best avoided for children who wet the bed; I’ve heard many experienced parents say so.
It’s a good idea to encourage hydration earlier in the day rather than the evening.
A lot of night-time issues can arise from how children cope with daytime toilet habits. It could be worth mentioning the bedwetting issue to their teacher or childcare provider. Needless to say, your child won’t want you to do this! It should be done discreetly, but it could help for someone to keep an eye that they aren’t ‘holding it’ during the day.
Another daytime tip is to increase fluids in the morning and afternoon to train the bladder to hold more. You could also monitor their daytime toilet habits to make sure they aren’t trying to empty their bladder too quickly. They should be encouraged to empty their bladder fully and slowly when the going is good.
While bedwetting improves over time, use waterproof mattress covers for quick changes.
There are some really good options out there that don’t feel or sound like a sweaty plastic layer.
Most bedwetting is developmental, but consult your child’s PHN for assistance if you feel it has gone on long enough. They can recommend bed-wetting alarms which can be very effective.
A healthcare professional can also rule out medical causes and offer guidance tailored to your child. For instance, if constipation is present, it can contribute to night-time accidents.
Bedwetting can affect self-esteem, social activities, and sleepovers. Your calm approach is the biggest comfort your child can have; your empathy sends them a powerful message: They are safe, loved, and supported – wet sheets and all.
Louise Flanagan is an admin of Letterkenny Babies Facebook page and the author of the children’s book series, Dragonterra and Dream Beasts. www.dragonterra.ie
