IN guidance issued last Friday, all primary schools will implement new policies that ban the use of, and access to, smartphones during the school day. The direction to schools comes as part of national guidance on phone use issued by Helen McEntee, Minister for Education.
Having three kids in primary school myself, I fully support this decision. Admittedly, my eldest child who is going into 6th class has her own mobile phone already. It came with strict rules and ongoing supervision, but so far, so good.
The potential for phone-related problems is so vast though. There is the risk of exposure to inappropriate material and devastating bullying. As well as that, it seems access to phones at a young age is shaping social interactions – and it’s not always for the best.
A parent messaged Letterkenny Babies Facebook page to raise this concern. “My daughter is in 6th class and got a phone about six months ago. We have very strict rules with it and she is happy to comply. No social media, parental supervision etc.
“The issue is that a friend of hers who is the same age messages her all the time on whatsapp. Sometimes my daughter doesn’t reply because she is busy playing with her siblings or doing other stuff.
“The other child seems to be very sensitive and gets offended when my child doesn’t reply. This sparks a flurry of messages like “Why are you ignoring me?” and “I can see you’re online.” These messages are sent in block capitals accompanied by lots of sad and angry emojis.
“She has accused my child of being ‘mean’ to her over this, when all my child actually does is get on with her day, rather than tapping constantly on the phone. My child genuinely likes this friend and doesn’t want to upset her, or anyone else. Even when she does reply, it never seems to be enough. The more my child replies, the more the other child bombards her with messages.
“The child eventually told my daughter that she feels she is ignoring her and therefore, is being mean to her. As a result of this accusation, my daughter is questioning herself, asking me if she is actually a mean girl?
“I can see it has stressed her out and I’m just so annoyed for her. Furthermore, I feel this type of issue is only going to get worse as she navigates the early teenage years.
“I haven’t spoken to the other child’s parents about this, because in my experience, little squabbles among kids only tend to escalate when parents get involved. I am happy that I have talked it through with my child and offered reassurance.
“I don’t regret giving my child the phone as she uses it very responsibly and enjoys having it. I also don’t think we can wrap them up in bubble wrap entirely; this is the world we live in. However, I do feel that parents need to have a word with their children about phone etiquette: It’s ok if your friend doesn’t message straight back. They might be busy or distracted. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you and it certainly doesn’t make them mean!”
Another parent replied, hitting the nail on the head: “This is exactly why phones and social apps are adding to poor mental health in teens and dare I say adults! We are expected to be 100 per cent available to everyone on request.”
Louise Flanagan is an admin of Letterkenny Babies Facebook page and author of the children’s book series Dragonterra and Dream Beasts.
www.dragonterra.ie
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