MANY people who live in a housing estate with lots of young families will agree that it’s fantastic for your kids to have neighbourhood playmates.
There are plenty of days when I don’t feel the need to go anywhere to entertain my kids; I can just open the door and send them out to play with their friends – fun guaranteed.
However, some parents find it overwhelming to have neighbourhood kids hanging around too much. Recently, Letterkenny Babies received the following message:
“I am really frustrated with the neighbour’s kids coming over to our home to play with my kids.
“They keep ringing the bell, knocking on the door. I let them in out of courtesy once or twice, now they are here all the time. It’s getting too much.
“My husband and I work during the week. Weekend is our time to catch up with our pending tasks, relax and bond as a family. I can’t let my kids out in the garden or out the front to play or cycle, because they don’t come back alone.
“I can’t just push the other kids out. And they just won’t leave when asked politely. Their parents don’t even know where their kids are. Even on weekdays, when we come back from work, the kids are banging on the doors. I am at my wit’s end.”
There were many responses with parents agreeing that it’s a tricky situation, given that the poster doesn’t seem to know the parents of these neighborhood children well, if at all.
That tends to be rule number one when it comes to kids playing in the house.
Personally, I have stopped neighbourhood kids at the door and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know your parents so you can’t come inside. I’m sure your parents wouldn’t want you in my house when they don’t know me either.”
Kids tend to nod and accept this explanation and play together in the garden instead.
With time, I’d make a point of getting to know their parents, exchanging numbers and then allow them inside in due course.
One parent wrote, “Just have a word with your neighbours. Some folk are completely clueless and as it was ok once, they probably got the impression it’s fine. Also talk to your kids about boundaries and let them tell their wee pals when it’s not ok.”
Another added, “You need to be firm and just tell them ‘No, not today.’ You are an adult, it’s your home. They are kids; you need to set a boundary or it will continue to get worse. My main concern would be if one of them gets hurt in your home, the parents could blame you.”
In modern times, these are real concerns, but many parents, including myself, still like to see the house full of kids. One parent wrote.
“I think it depends on the upbringing you had yourself. When I was small, my mother threw the doors of our house open wide and everyone was welcome to play. The house never cooled but I have great memories of it, as do my friends.
“Now I have a family of my own, and similarly, everyone is welcome to play in our house. Sometimes it can be draining when you pull the car into the drive and neighbourhood kids are gathering at the door before you even get out of the car!
“It’s ok to lay down ground rules and say no if it doesn’t suit you. Most children will listen to adult authority – be firm when you tell them it’s time to go home.
“Generally speaking, I see it as a blessing that my children have friends to play with and I know they are all safe in my home rather than roaming the streets. If the children visiting your house don’t play nicely, that’s a different story, but as long as your own children are happy with the company, try to focus on the positives.”
Louise Flanagan is an admin of Letterkenny Babies Facebook page and the author of the children’s book series, Dragonterra and Dream Beasts. www.dragonterra.ie
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