Juggling all the activities offered in primary school is tough. I regularly get calls from the school to ask if I can drop down my daughter’s guitar for orchestra practice. I am humbly resigned to the fact that these calls are inevitable, given my general disorganisation.

I do feel guilty that the poor secretary has me on speed dial, but I’m sure she’s well used to parents like me. It seems I’m passing my scattiness on nicely to the next generation too; apples and trees, and all that.

I can’t keep on top of who has PE on which day. It’s all very haphazard, but you know what? I don’t beat myself up about it. I pat myself on the back for the little victories and pardon myself for the slip-ups. I’m trying. I’m grand.

For many, there’s also the stress of trying to attend events organised by the school; parents’ day and grandparents’ day for instance.

I think it’s wonderful that school is such a vibrant and stimulating environment for our kids. It can be tough to juggle everything, but that doesn’t outweigh how much enjoyment kids get from these activities. I’m lucky that I can attend school events most of the time, but the odd time when I can’t, I have no bother telling the kids that I’m sorry but I won’t be there this time. It would be awful to disappoint them all the time, but to disappoint them the odd time, out of necessity, of course, is to teach them coping strategies for the real world.

Recently, a parent messaged the Letterkenny Babies Facebook page, feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to attend these school events and also to participate in activities such as World Book Day dress-up.

While many agreed that such events can turn into a lot of hassle, other members added words of wisdom to help put things into perspective. “I think parents get upset about dress-up days because instead of making it about the child, they are trying to keep up with the Jones and honestly, the kids don’t care how amazing someone else’s costume is; they just want to have fun with their friends and if they don’t want to dress up that’s not a big deal either. Schools aren’t forcing you to do it. If they didn’t do anything fun for the kids then you would be giving out.”

Another added, “Come on guys, let’s face it. We cannot put our kids in a bubble to protect them from every little disappointment. A tree is just strong because of the wind. Grow a tree indoors and you’ll have to support it or it will bend and break.

“It’s impossible to please everyone, there will be parents present for school events, parents who really couldn’t be present, and parents who didn’t care about it. What matters is that your kid sees your effort.

“I see more and more parents trying to adapt our society to their kids when they should be teaching their kids that our society will keep moving forward and they must deal with it. You can’t change a whole tradition, a whole system just because you can’t say no or control your kids’ behaviour.”

It definitely stresses parents out to have so much of a mental load to carry, and my blasé attitude would probably send most people up the walls.

One page member put it well when she wrote, “I think the biggest thing is not to compare yourself to any other parent or household. It really is the thief of joy!”

Louise Flanagan is an admin of Letterkenny Babies facebook page and the author of the children’s book series, Dragonterra and Dream Beasts. www.dragonterra.ie