The new school year brings with it the enrolment of children in many after school activities.
It can be yet another source of parental guilt, wondering if you’re doing right by dragging them along to activities they’re not dying about, and equally not facilitating them to go to every activity under the sun.
As a parent, it can be difficult to find both the time and the money to allow kids to enjoy a range of past times. And at what point does our encouragement become too pushy if they’re simply not interested?
Recently Letterkenny Babies Facebook page received a message from a mum wondering if she was doing right by her son.
She wrote: “My eight year old boy isn’t into GAA. He goes to training and matches but it’s a battle trying to get him to go.
It just isn’t his thing and afterwards he’s often disappointed as he doesn’t get the ball and no one passes to him.
“He’s very athletic, enjoys cycling and swimming and plays music and does drama. I feel in my heart he’s just not going to be a GAA boy and I’m ok with that.
“My problem is he’s in an all boys school and his uncle recently commented saying if he doesn’t do GAA the other boys will think he’s weird and will alienate him. This broke my heart. So I’m wondering do I keep forcing him to do the GAA in the hope he’ll start to enjoy it just so he’ll ‘fit in’ or can I just let him be happy with his other activities? What will he thank me for in years to come?”
Page members responded with reassuring words for the mother. “Let him be happy at whatever it is he wants to try.
Far too many try to force kids into things too young. Let him find his own path in life. If he finds happiness in cycling, swimming, music or drama, it’s much better than being unhappy at enforced GAA.”
“What makes a child different is having the ability to be different. His uncle has little to be doing saying things like that about his nephew and your son. If he doesn’t want to play GAA then that’s ok. What about these friends or so-called friends?
“The first lesson with friends is that you accept your friends having different interests, and what odds if you don’t do everything the gang does! It will stand to him in the long run. I wouldn’t be making him go if it’s not his thing.”
“Everyone needs to find their own tribe and if GAA is not for your son then that’s perfectly normal. I’ve seen lots of young people from strong GAA families plough their own furrow and follow their interests in the likes of athletics and swimming and become very successful in those areas. My advice is to encourage your son in those areas that he enjoys and he will find his own tribe to belong to.”
I was delighted to read all of this advice myself, because my middle child, Evan, currently has no interest in football. He’s very much his own man with his own notions.
His closest friends are mad into football and thankfully it doesn’t affect their friendship.
This year, I hope to get him into basketball as he’s expressing interest.
Maybe next year it’ll be something different – maybe eventually he’ll give football a go.
As long as he’s happy and active, what odds.
Louise Flanagan is an admin of Letterkenny Babies Facebook page and the author of the children’s book series, Dragonterra and Dream Beasts. www.dragonterra.ie.
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