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Parenting Column: The last thing parents need is snotty judgement from others

Myself and my husband headed off for not one, but two nights away from the kids to mark our 15th wedding anniversary last weekend. Over the years, we have very occasionally left them in the care of family members while we sneaked away for one night, but this was our first time taking two whole nights to ourselves.

I’m saying this as much for myself as for anyone reading it, but it reminded me how important it is for couples to take time away from their precious children every once in a while. Needless to say, we spent a good deal of the break talking about our kids – and missing them a little – but it was lovely spending time as a pair, nevertheless.

On the second night, a baby in the room next to us cried for hours on end. I didn’t manage to lay eyes on the tiny culprit, but I’d estimate from the impressive lung power that he or she was approximately one year old.

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The hotel was beautiful but the walls must be paper thin, because I could hear that poor baby and the parents’ valiant attempts to calm the situation as if they were all in the bed with me.

My heart went out to those parents. Nothing they did seemed to make any difference. It made me realise that it has been years since my own night’s sleep has been interrupted in such a stressful fashion. In fact, only one of my three children ever treated me to a wild night like that; my darling first born!

At the time, it seemed like the night wouldn’t end, but it did. The years have flown by and all I have of those crazy nights are memories that now actually make me smile, despite how stressful it felt at the time.

The situation in the hotel would have been exacerbated by the fact that those parents weren’t in the comfort of their own home for this mammoth crying session. Without home comforts, and probably, being aware that the people in the room next to them could hear the commotion would have added extra layers of stress.

It reminded me too, that you never know what sort of night any other parent has put in with their child. They were up and out of their room before us the next morning; seizing the day despite a very turbulent night’s sleep.

Many years ago, one of our kids lost the plot on a Ryanair flight to Spain. It was another of those times when the fact you’re in public and can’t escape magnifies the stress of it all. Her ears were probably sore on the flight. We did our best to soothe her, cramming lollipops in her mouth, playing videos on the phone, and offering her all manner of interesting things to distract her. Nothing would work. We had to ride it out, along with the passengers around us who couldn’t block out the sounds of her wailing either. Mercifully, no one made any comments or shot us any dirty looks on that flight. What would it have served other than tipping me over the edge?! And would there have been any point if someone had lodged a complaint with Ryanair about the bad baby on board?! It was hardly the airline’s fault.

The last thing any parent needs is snotty judgment from others. So, when I checked out of the hotel, the receptionist asked me if I enjoyed my stay. ‘Yes,’ I said, nodding politely, ‘I did indeed.’

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Louise Flanagan is an admin of Letterkenny Babies Facebook page and the author of the children’s book series, Dragonterra and Dream Beasts. www.dragonterra.ie

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