Even if you try to be the most frugal version of yourself, this is an expensive time of year for parents. Some seasonal expenses can’t be avoided, but there are others that we can opt to bypass.
Sometimes, we put undue pressure on ourselves to have the festivities all tied up in a bow; social media would often lead you to believe that everyone else is living their best life with all the trimmings to boot. In reality though, many families are at their wits’ end as they try to navigate the next few weeks.
One expense that causes controversy is the giving of gifts to teachers and other caregivers. While the gesture is lovely and most appreciated, it is not remotely expected by school staff. One parent recently wrote into Letterkenny Babies about this topic: “Is anyone else struggling with all the outgoings this time of year with schools? It’s so nice to be able to give to teachers for Christmas, but parents at our school have organised a group collection for each class at €10 or €15 per child!
“Also, kids are coming home from school with endless tickets and lines to sell for various causes. I can’t keep up, as I have more than one child and feel rotten about it.”
Parents responded with words of reassurance (and annoyance) at this practice. One wrote; “It’s really unfair to impose on people at this time of year and if there’s an expectation from the people organising this, they’re just being tactless.
“A homemade card has far more of an impact than a voucher or something the teacher could go out and buy for themselves if they really wanted it.”
Another added: “That’s a bit steep! Five or ten euros per family is more than enough. And it’s very unfair to be asking it of anyone. Don’t give it and don’t feel bad. If it suits you, just put what you can afford into an envelope and say no more about it. If you want to just bake something for the teachers, they would love that as much as anything.”
Some teachers commented on the post too, offering their perspective; “Organising to collect money is a lovely gesture, but as a teacher I would not feel comfortable accepting this. There is far too much pressure and absolutely no need. We are happy to teach your wonderful children and see them grow and do well. That is the gift we receive.”
As a teacher myself, I agree that there is no expectation on the part of the teacher to receive any gifts from their students. And, from experience, the nicest thing you can receive from them is a heartfelt message of good wishes and thanks for a job well done.
Taking the time to let them know that you value their commitment to their job and that you appreciate the positive impact they are having on your child is a perfect example of seasonal goodwill.
Christmas is a lovely time to show a little kindness and appreciation, but that doesn’t have to equate to an extravagant financial gesture. Teachers genuinely don’t expect it. In the words of the inimitable Roy Keane, ‘That’s their job!’
