by Louise Doyle
A Donegal woman left devastated after she was not permitted to say a eulogy at the joint funeral of her parents, who died within hours of one another, has said she is “absolutely blown away” by support she has received.
Jackie McGettigan, late of Bruckless, passed away on December 23, 2023. His beloved wife, Ann, sadly died two days later on Christmas Day.
Their daughter, Deirdre (Dee) McGettigan, told the Donegal News she has been receiving huge support since sharing her experience on RTÉ Joe Duffy’s Liveline programme and ‘Upfront’ with Katie Hannon, which featured a discussion on eulogies at funeral Masses.
Ms McGettigan told of how she and her siblings experienced a horrific grief as they were suddenly “propelled into two funerals”.
With Ms McGettigan and her siblings having penned two short eulogies in tribute to their parents, three minutes in total, Ms McGettigan was left upset after learning that she would not be allowed to speak at her parents’ funeral.
“The fifth commandment is honour your father and mother. I did that for all of my living years and their living years. In their death, I wasn’t allowed to say one word for them,” Ms McGettigan told ‘Upfront’.
“I am still extremely angry and I can’t get to the next stage of my grieving journey because of what happened.
Ms McGettigan shared how it was her mother’s wish that her daughter would say “something nice” about her at her funeral. Sadly, she only got the opportunity to read the eulogies to family and friends at her parents’ month’s mind Mass.
Having written to the Bishop, Ms McGettigan told of having received an apology from the Bishop that it caused a “sense of hurt”. But, she said she felt the response was not adequate.
“It’s more than a sense of hurt, it’s immeasurable,” she said.
Ms McGettigan’s experience has struck a chord with many people, not just locally but nationally and globally.
“I’m absolutely blown away by the support that I have received from people all over the world, and I’d really like to thank them,” she told the Donegal News.
We contacted the Diocese of Raphoe for a response. A spokesperson said no review of guidelines and protocols will take place while the Diocese is without a Bishop.
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