by Louise Doyle

THE front cover of a memoir written by a Falcarragh man brings to life the adage that a picture is worth a thousand words.

Wilder Shores by Danny McFadden shows a man staring at an imposing wave crest, just before it falls. The symbolism couldn’t be more apt as the cover choice for the memoir, which follows the unlikely and twisting path of a young man who completely lost his way in turbulent waters. But staring into the abyss, Danny chose life over darkness.

Born into a tough London Irish environment, with an alcoholic father and disadvantaged by severe anxiety issues, to break out of a cycle of violence, poverty and despair, Danny sought an escape in alcohol and drugs which fuelled a restless, lonely flight around the world.

Danny’s journey took him over oceans and across continents, from sleeping on park benches in Australia to working for the United Nations in New York. As well as a deeply personal story of overcoming the fears which tormented him all his life, Danny’s memoir is also very disarming as the reader travels with him on his miraculous journey to peace of mind.

In 2019, Danny returned to his father’s family’s home in Dunmore, a place of familiarity, where he had spent many summers in his childhood, to put pen to paper for his memoir.

“There were nine in a family in Dunmore in Falcarragh, living in an old Donegal cottage. My father’s siblings scattered around the world, my father went to London. I was brought up an Irish cockney. We used to identify ourselves as North London Irish.

“I was in Hong Kong and thought I would pop over after Christmas. I always thought of writing my story. I thought I’d be here for two months but them Covid happened. It called my bluff, so I just kept going.”

To write his memoir, Danny had to travel back to a time of incredible pain.

“I had chronic social anxiety when I was very young. It was very crippling. I thought it was extreme shyness. I treated it by drinking but I was probably an alcoholic all along. My father was an alcoholic. I was brought up in an alcoholic household. Sadly, it’s a familiar story for many people.

FATHER FIGURE

“One thing about writing the memoir is that you make sense of your life, looking back. I realised that what I was missing all these years was a father figure. I admire great fathers. My dad never took us anywhere, or spent time with us. I remember he took us to the movies one day, but we left early because the pubs had opened.

“My father’s absence had a profound impact, but he also had his own demons. I know he did the best he could.”

In London, Danny got a job as a library officer in Swiss Cottage Library in London. By day, Danny worked his ‘white collar job’ but by night he would be involved in fights which lead to his imprisonment when he was 19.

“I was living a Jekyll and Hyde life. When I was drinking I’d be in the young working class areas. Often there would be fights between other working class boys, so violence was a strong part of my teenage years.

“I ended up in prison. The library were wonderful, they gave a witness recommendation for me. I found the prison environment very difficult.”

Danny had stints working as a navvy on building sites, on steelworks sites in Denmark and on lobster boats on the Channel Islands: “My choices were all drink fuelled, but when you have nothing you have nothing to lose. I experienced the kindness of strangers, but at the end of the day I was running away from myself. But I met myself at the other end. I realised I was completely lost and my drinking got worse. I returned to London. My mother was wonderful and welcomed me home. I was starting to lose heart and I began to isolate, even in pubs. I lost all sense of self. I was totally adrift.”

A decision to move to Australia would ultimately turn Danny’s life around, but not before he would find himself on the streets there. He was admitted to hospital suffering with malnutrition and the impact of drinking methylated spirits.

CHANCE CONVERSATION

“I was 28 and I had given up. I was a morning to night drinker. If I had a penny I would drink it. But a man from AA found me in hospital. A nurse pointed him in my direction. I agreed to speak with him, not realising it would save my life.”

Danny was doing well, when a chance conversation led to an incredible ‘dream job’ opportunity at a library in Carnarvon.

“One day a guy saw me reading a book. He asked me If I liked reading and I told him I used to work in a library. A week later, he walked in with a newspaper with a job advert for a librarian. I didn’t know if I could go back to it after 10 years doing labouring work. But I went for it, and I got the job. Just nine months before this, I was laying on the street dying from alcohol poisoning.

“I was given the key to the library, and I realised the symbolism of being handed my life back,” said Danny.

Danny later moved to Queensland to study Modern Asian Studies, where, in his second year of studies an opportunity arose for Danny to go to Taiwan to learn Mandarin: “My imagination beats my logic every day. I sold my combi van for the ticket, went to Taiwan and ended up meeting my wife Teresa. We later went back to Australia and got married. I have two stepsons.”

It was in his late 40s when Danny thought of becoming a lawyer. He completed an intensive degree, part of it in the United States. Danny went on to become a solicitor in Brisbane for four-and-a-half years, and credits his wife for being the driving force behind the move.

“One of my happiest times is returning to London when my mum was in her 80s. I slept on her living room floor, we watched Coronation Street together. Mum was very proud to tell everyone that she had a son who was a solicitor.”

He later moved into mediation – a job which takes him around the world. Danny’s story is courageous and is one which he said hopes will help others.

Danny will be signing copies of ‘Wilder Shores’ at Bookmark, Letterkenny Shopping Centre, on Saturday, August 23 from 12pm to 2pm.

‘Wilder Shores’ is also available from The Barracks, McGee’s Service Station in Falcarragh, online with Amazon and as an ebook.

Wilder Shores by Danny McFadden.