Louise James opens up about losing five family members in the Buncrana Pier tragedy, as fundraisers to take place to mark the 10th anniversary
WHEN Louise James speaks about her children, Mark and Evan, her face breaks into a huge smile that travels all the way to her eyes.
“It was a privilege being their mammy,” she told the Donegal News this week.
The Derry woman is preparing to mark the 10th anniversary of the tragic deaths of her sons, Mark McGrotty (12), Evan McGrotty (8), their father and her partner, Sean McGrotty (49), her mum Ruth Daniels (57), and her sister, Jodie Lee Daniels, aged 14.
The five family members lost their lives in the Buncrana Pier tragedy when their car went into Lough Swilly from a slipway.
The only survivor of the tragedy is Louise’s daughter, Rioghnach, who was just four months old at the time. Mr McGrotty handed his baby daughter to Kerrykeel man Davitt Walsh, who had swam out to help, moments before the family’s SUV vehicle sank.
Louise is planning a series of fundraising events, including a remembrance walk and a gala ball, to celebrate the lives of her loved ones. The events will also pay thanks to the RNLI, emergency services and all those who helped her on the night of the tragedy, and since.
We met with Louise on Tuesday not too far from her home in Derry she shared with her partner and children, and where she still lives.
“The last 10 years have been really hard. It’s hard knowing that I’ve had the last 10 years without them,” said Louise, who has been going through photos of her loved ones to share on social media ahead of the fundraisers.
We began by asking Louise about her mum, partner, children and sister.
“My mammy was great. She was the life and soul of the party. She would have done anything for anybody,” said Louise.
Ruth Daniels.
“She loved her neighbours, she loved her life and she loved her grandchildren who meant the world to her. The house was filled. The kettle was never off.”
Louise described her partner Sean as a “hard worker”, with a “heart of gold” who had a soft spot for pigeons.
Sean McGrotty.
“We had five pigeons and no one was allowed into the backyard when it was race day,” laughed Louise.
Turning her thoughts to her sons, Louise said she was “so honoured” to be their mammy. Describing Mark as her “protector”, Louise said that he was “very soft” and “kept his feelings to himself” but that he was “coming into his own just before he died”.
Mark McGrotty.
“Mark was always in front of me. He was my protector. He was enjoying school. He auditioned for the school show along with his friends. The three of them got into the play, they were Indians. They had so much fun and I told him I was so proud of him.”
Louise beamed with pride as she told of how protective Mark was of his younger brother, Evan, who was diagnosed with Duchenne muscular dystrophy (DMD) at the age of three. DMD is a severe, progressive genetic disorder primarily affecting boys, causing muscle degeneration.
“Evan was a character. We didn’t wrap him in cotton wool. I tried my best to give him a good life and let him live it to what he could do. He loved his friends and he loved being outside. He loved school. He hated the end of June, he thought the summer was too long.
“Evan was stuck to my side. It was a privilege being their mammy. I am just so honoured. I know they are not here but they were mine.”
Evan McGrotty.
Speaking about her sister, Jodie, Louise told of how she “idolised” Mark and Evan.
“She was like their big sister, she looked after them. She was stunning. Jodie was a huge part of my life.”
Jodie Lee Daniels.
Reflecting on the day of the tragedy, Louise said that the day “is with her all of the time”.
“For me, it’s like it happened yesterday. It’s the blink of an eye. I try not to think about how I’ve lived the last 10 years without them. I try not to do that because I start to cry. You lose yourself in that rabbit hole and it’s hard to pull yourself out of it.
“We get out but it is a struggle at times. There are times you don’t want to get dressed or leave the house.
“The one person missing from that (tragedy) is me. We were always together. I went everywhere with my boys, Jodie, my mammy and Sean. I know no one of them would have been able to survive without the other.
“I know in my heart if Sean had survived that he would have taken his own life. He wouldn’t have been able to cope with the loss of the boys or Jodie.
“I know my mammy wouldn’t have lived without her grandchildren or Jodie. I think, in a way, Sean knew he had to save somebody and he saved Rioghnach. I needed something to keep me here.”
Louise said she has brought Rioghnach up knowing that she was there on the day of the tragedy.
“She’ll ask a lot of questions, and if I can answer them, I will. She understands everything. I wanted her to understand for going into school. She is understanding of her feelings. She will say, ‘I wish I had known my brothers’, or ‘I wish my daddy could pick me up from school’.”
Louise shared how Evan told her that she was going to have a daughter.
“Evan ruptured my womb and I was in intensive care for two days and he was in the baby unit. I was told I could never have any more children.
“When Evan was in nursery he told me I was going to have a wee girl called Rosie, but that she wasn’t ready to come yet. As a family, we were supported by the Children’s Hospice, and to celebrate Evan’s eighth birthday we had a Chinese there. I wasn’t feeling great a few days later I did a pregnancy test which revealed I was pregnant.”
SIGNS
Louise said she believes her family are watching over her, and revealed a few signs she has received. She told of how she was the graveside and told her mum that she really needed a hug. Later that evening, Donegal-born priest, Fr Paddy O’Kane, who had been Louise’s parish priest in Derry, came to her house, saying he wanted to call in and give her a hug.
“After Fr O’Kane passed, I was joking with my mammy that she can’t send Fr O’Kane to give me a hug now, and suddenly Fr Joe (Gormley) landed.”
When she was pregnant with Rioghanch, Evan and Mark would get into bed with her and listen to music. Louise revealed how she recently asked them if she was doing the right thing by fundraising.
“I don’t know if I’m opening myself up to hurt. I asked them to tell me what the right thing to do was. I lay down, and the next song that came on was ‘people help the people’ by Birdy. Their death certificates say they died by misadventure. That word is mentioned in this song, as well as the line ‘a thousand slowly dying sunsets’. They were watching the sun set when they died.”
A week before the tragedy, she and Sean were invited to a party.
“Sean took me out to dance to ‘I’ve had the time of my life’. In our 16 years together we never danced. He told me that that was his way of telling me that he loved me.
“After the accident, I heard this song everywhere I went for six months. I finally got it, that it was a message from Sean.”
LOCKDOWN
Louise told of how her brother Joshua Daniels moved in with her and Rioghnach following the tragedy.
“He was my rock. He moved out at the right time for him and the right time for me.”
The arrival of the Covid-19 pandemic saw Louise and Rioghnach at home together.
“It gave me a chance to reflect on stuff that I wasn’t dealing with. There were times I didn’t like the silence, it was too quiet for me.”
Louise recalled how Evan turned 13 during the pandemic. She and Rioghnach had gone to the city cemetery, but as it was during lockdown she was not allowed to be there.
“I broke my heart crying in the car and then I started laughing telling Evan, ‘your mammy got thrown out of the cemetery’.
On each anniversary, Louise takes flowers to the pier in Buncrana and to the cemetery, before heading away for the day with Rioghnach and her friends.
Supported by a dedicated team, Louise is marking the tenth anniversary by celebrating the lives of those she lost. A series of events will take place, beginning with a special Mass in Holy Family Parish in Ballymagroarty, Derry, on Friday, March 20, at 7pm. This is open to everyone.
A 5k Remembrance Walk will take place in Buncrana on Sunday, March 22 at 11am. The walk will begin at Buncrana Play Park, where Mark, Evan and Jodie were last seen playing together and will continue out towards Ned’s Point. People can register or make a donation on the day, however, it is advised to do so beforehand. See Buncrana Pier Tragedy Facebook page for registration details.
“I have fundraised for the RNLI throughout. This fundraiser is not only for the RNLI but they are the main recipients because they are voluntary,” said Louise.
“I know they didn’t come home alive but they brought them home. I was able to, as their mammy, give them a kiss goodnight. I was able to let their friends see them and say their goodbyes. I was able to get that bit of closure, and the five of them came home together.
“The RNLI put their own lives at risk and they have families at home that are also at risk when they go into that boat to save someone else. I know when that accident happened it affected a lot of those men.”
On May 8, her mum’s birthday, Louise will host a gala ball at Ebrington Hotel in Derry.
“The reason we’re having the gala ball for my mammy is because I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her. I do believe I get my strength from her and the boys. What other way to do it other than celebrate them?
“My boys were so happy. They all loved life. I want people to remember them in a happy way.”
Louise praised the communities of Derry and Donegal in the wake of the tragedy.
“The people of Derry gave us a guard of honour from the minute we left the undertakers. The police did a guard of honour. The day they were buried, shops closed and there was a guard of honour right to the cemetery.
“This is my way of saying thank you to our whole community for supporting me and supporting us in our cause for the RNLI. The whole of our country has been amazing, all the way down to Cork and over in New York. The Irish community in America has been amazing.
“A thank you to Sean for handing our daughter out to Davitt, and a thank you to Davitt. If it wasn’t for Sean he wouldn’t have got Rioghnach out, and if it wasn’t for Davitt I wouldn’t have her.
“A thank you to Connie and Teresa McIntyre for helping with the rescue with Rioghnach.”
Louise thanked all the businesses that have supported the fundraisers so far, adding that it is not too late if others want to get involved.
She paid a special tribute to the former Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland, the late Martin McGuinness.
“We had a girl, Jessica, between the boys. She lived for 17 hours. She took flu in the lungs. We had her buried in the Garden of Angels.
“Martin McGuinness was so lovely during the wake, and he told me if I needed anything to ring him. I rang him at 11pm one night and asked if he would help move Jessica. I wanted her buried with her daddy and brothers. He said ‘done’.”
Around six weeks after Louise laid her family to rest, a service was held in the City Cemetery at 6.30am in the morning to laid Jessica to rest with her father and brothers.
“She had been exhumed that morning and she was put into a new coffin. We buried her with her dad and brothers.”
Elsewhere, Joe Joyce, Lough Swilly RNLI Lifeboat Operations Manager said at this poignant anniversary the thoughts of all at Lough Swilly RNLI are with the family.
“We want to sincerely thank Louise and all the family who have fundraised for Lough Swilly RNLI on numerous occasions over the last 10 years. We deeply appreciate Louise thinking of us once again to benefit from the events she is organising to mark the tenth anniversary of the tragedy.
“The RNLI relies on such kindness to power our lifesaving work and any funds raised will go towards helping to give our volunteers the training and kit they need to launch to the rescue, ensuring our lifeboats are maintained and fuelled, or enabling us to share lifesaving water safety advice.”
THANKS
Louise has thanked the following services and individuals:
Buncrana Fire Service, two appliances and one jeep and lighting tower; Northern Ireland Fire Service, two appliances and one fast water rescue craft; NowDoc; Greencastle Coastguard; Rescue 118; An Garda Síochana; Divisional Controller Malin Head Coastguard; Multiple ambulances; Undertakers; Donegal County Council marine engineer; and Fr John Walsh.
