I’m proud that Letterkenny Babies Facebook page has helped lots of local people with words of comfort in their time of need. Recently, a new mum messaged in, overwhelmed with caring for her twins.
She wrote: “I have six-month old twins. They are all I’ve ever wanted. We had lots of losses and heartbreak but now we have our perfect family.
“I’m taking a year off work but all I want is to go back. I feel terrible. The day is relentless. One baby wakes, the other needs to be settled and it goes like that all day.
“I’m so tired. I sit at the window from 5pm waiting for my husband to come home.
“I have lots of people around but nobody that wants to take two babies with different needs. I can’t tell anyone how unhappy I am because it’s all I’ve wanted.
“They think I’m happy and I’m not; I’m so sad and alone. We can’t afford for me to go back to work with childcare costs until they turn one. I love my babies and I find so much happiness in them. I just feel like it’s a never ending cycle.”
Plenty of people replied to this new mum, assuring her that they knew exactly how she felt; they had been there themselves.
One member wrote: “I feel for you, I really do. It’s the toughest time. No one really understands how hard it is. It’s totally normal to feel the way you feel.
“I’m a mammy of twins and nothing could have prepared me for it. You get so lost in the endless feedings and lack of sleep and one day just blends into the next.
“Sometimes it just feels like you’re stuck in the house. I think it’s the mixture of exhaustion and the repetition of constant feeding.’
A lot of people suggested that this mother’s first port of call should be the GP. It was suggested that she could have a touch of postnatal depression, which was something that the mother herself had not considered.
Others suggested reaching out and asking for help from family and friends – there was certainly no need to be embarrassed. It’s a reminder to us all to support new mothers in our communities – and not to assume they’re living their best lives with their bundles of joy.
Plenty of twin mums offered reassurance that it would get easier; there were dozens of comforting messages for the mum to read through.
Later in the day, she sent us a follow-up message; it goes to show that words of advice and comfort – even on a Facebook page – can make a difference.
She wrote; “I sat at the window waiting for my husband, only this time I read the messages from the kindest ladies. I cried and cried and cried. Honestly, I needed to cry and let go.
“I’ve made an appointment for the GP. I actually never thought of postnatal depression because they are almost seven months old. I need help and I think if I get some mental health help first, it might make things easier.
“I go to groups but everyone makes it look easy. I walk in like I’ve been dragged through hell (and feel it too, sometimes) with no makeup and whatever clothes I managed to fling on. Maybe if I told them how I felt, they might feel the same, who knows.
“I haven’t slept more than four hours in months, so my husband, who is amazing, phoned some family and I’m going to the spare room tomorrow after the GP. Hopefully he’ll give me something to help me sleep.
“I’m totally overwhelmed – sleep and GP are my first stops. I find moments of pure joy throughout the day and I live for my twins. They are getting to be fun now. Thank you for your kindness. It really means the world.”
