Finding out you’re pregnant and keeping it secret for those first few weeks can be quite a task – particularly if you have a social event in the mix.
Letterkenny Babies received the following message during the week: “I recently found out that I’m pregnant – very early stages. I’m absolutely delighted.
“I’ve a big birthday party at the end of the month and I’ll be expected to drink at it. How can I tell everyone that I’m not drinking? Everyone will find it weird if I’m not drinking. This is my first pregnancy.”
My automatic reaction is to think that it’s too bad that a woman can’t skip a night’s drinking without speculation about the state of her womb.
Ideally, no one would pass any remarks.
There’d be no raised eyebrows and no discreet nudges of elbows.
Unfortunately in reality though, people do tend to notice and even if they don’t confront the woman directly, they’ll flag it for other people’s attention that she’s not drinking.
It’s such a pity but that’s how it goes.
Page members had various advice to help this mum-to-be fly under the radar.
While many suggested using the old ‘antibiotics’ cover story, others cautioned that it’s actually a bit of a giveaway.
“When I was in this situation, I drank soda water and lime. Everyone assumed there was alcohol in it. If you say you’re on antibiotics, they’ll know immediately,” one member said.
Another added: “I had a party while I was under 12 weeks pregnant. I stuck to alcohol-free Kopperberg. I told the girl serving at the bar that I was expecting and no one knew at that time and to pour it straight into a glass for me.
“She continued this throughout the evening without even asking. If someone was buying a round, she always looked in my direction and gave a little nod. Then I was able to say I’d just have 2 or 3 as I had an early shift at work the following day.
“No one batted an eyelid.”
Another strategy is to rope in an accomplice if at all possible – just one trusted person who will help cover for you; someone who’ll offer to buy you your ‘vodka and coke’ and present you with a harmless soda instead.
Once, soon after I found out I was expecting, I had a night out with my husband and some friends.
The plan was for my husband to order me a mocktail, even though I had loudly asked for a regular cocktail.
A few minutes later, the friendly and flamboyant waiter brought the round of drinks to the table, listing out the contents of each glass as he put it down; “And finally, Sex of the Beach – alcohol free!” he proclaimed dramatically.
All eyes fell on me and the gig was up.
Even the best laid plans can backfire!
If you find yourself handed a glass of alcohol despite your best efforts, I’d suggest gladly accepting it and taking a fake sip.
Mmmmm, delicious!
Then – chuck it down the drain at the first available opportunity and no one will be any the wiser.
As I’ve already said, it’s a pity that anyone would need to go to such lengths to keep people from speculating about a possible pregnancy.
It’s equally infuriating when you’re most definitely not pregnant and simply don’t feel like drinking and you notice people eyeing up your little food belly in wonder.
It would be so much nicer if we could all normalise minding our own business.
Louise Flanagan is an admin of Letterkenny Babies Facebook page and the author of the children’s book series, Dragonterra and Dream Beasts. www.dragonterra.ie
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