By Sean Hillen
LUKE Mangan dreamed of becoming a father and when his Falcarragh-born wife, Edel became pregnant, he was overjoyed.
Then tragedy struck.
After an emergency C-section 34 weeks into her pregnancy, their baby boy, Alexander (Xander), who had been placed on a life-support ventilator, breathed his last and slipped softly away after only 15 days of life. His death due to complications from fetal hydrops, excessive fluid build-up around his vital organs.
Joy for the couple turned into deep, unrelenting sadness sweeping them into a dark abyss of depression, leaving them unable to come to terms with what had happened.
“We were left in complete shock, our senses stunned,” said Luke, a physical education and history teacher at Rosses Community School in Dungloe. Edel, with a background in psychology, added: “It was a horrendous experience. Sheer hell to live through.”
Now three years after that tragic day, Edel and Luke are determined to give back what they received in vital support from a national organisation, Féileacáin (meaning butterfly), a Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Support Group that helps parents nationwide in such grieving circumstances.
A beautiful memory keepsake box of Xander’s foot and hand prints.
In an event at 8.30pm this Saturday evening, November 29, at The Shamrock Bar in Falcarragh, Edel will cut off Luke’s hair that he has been growing since around the time she became pregnant, as well as his handlebar moustache, in an event entitled ‘Luke’s Head and Moustache Shave.’ Luke’s hair will then be donated to the Rapunzel Foundation, which provides free real hair wigs to children and adults who’ve suffered hair loss, often due to illness.
His sister, Rebecca, will also donate her hair on the evening.
There will also be a raffle, with organic oils, creams and tonics donated by medical herbalist Columbia Hillen and free acupuncture treatment from Root Point.
“Féileacáin helped us a lot, even providing us with a memory box with photos of our departed son, a lock of his hair and a porcelain mould of his tiny hands and feet,” said Edel.
“It’s an amazing charity that helps grieving parents feel less alone and helps them keep their babies’ memories alive. Their meetings with other bereaved parents helped us to recover.”
Luke added: “We want to give something back, to hold this event in Falcarragh in memory of our little guy who was very much wanted and loved and whom we didn’t get the chance to keep, and to raise public awareness.”
Donations can be made via https:idonate.iealexandersparents
A spokesperson for Féileacáin praised Edel and Luke.
“This wonderful initiative by them both deserves tremendous support,” said Nina Doyle, a co-ordinator for Féileacáin.
“It’s not just the money they’ll raise to help us support other parents to keep the precious memory of children alive, one of the worst fears of parents. In the past, there was a lot of stigma attached to stillbirths and neonatal deaths of which there are around five hundred every year in Ireland but this event in Falcarragh will bring the community together in greater understanding.”
As for Luke’s feelings about having his hair cut off, he said: “As the evening approaches, I’m becoming more nervous. My hair will be the shortest it’s ever been since my childhood. But it’s all for a very good cause.”
