The Leaving Certificate and Junior Cycle exams are looming large on the horizon. As a secondary school teacher, I’ve heard many parents say they feel as though they’re doing the exams again themselves, what with the LC or JC having consumed the whole house.
While we can’t take the tests for them, parents play a vital role in supporting teens emotionally, physically, and practically during the exam period.
It is important to promote a calm and supportive home environment. There’s already plenty of pressure coming at them from various angles; home should be a place of reassurance, not added stress.
Keep the atmosphere positive and calm and try to avoid unnecessary arguments or placing added demands on their time during exam season.
Let them know that you’re proud of their effort, not just the outcome.
Encouraging words and a few reminders that their worth isn’t defined by the results they get in their state exams can go a long way.
Some parents will be reading this, throwing their arms up saying their child isn’t opening a book; they might feel like they’d need a cattle prod to get their kids going. If that’s the case, try not to turn it into a battleground over the exams.
Encourage them to study, surely. Nag if you must, but try to hold back on the full-blown rows over study or the lack thereof.
Ideally, you’d like them to be working away diligently and coping well with the workload, but of the two extremes – crippling exam anxiety and the horizontal lackadaisy approach – I’d opt for the latter for my child any day.
Some teens are most likely beavering away in their bedrooms and have their plan of attack figured out. More power to them. Other teens will procrastinate or overwork themselves without a solid plan.
Offer to help them create a balanced study schedule that includes breaks and downtime, as well as time for meals and sleep. Once the schedule is in place, gently encourage them to stick to it – but avoid micromanaging. It’s a fine balancing act!
During intensive exam prep, sleep, nutrition, and exercise often go out the window. You can help by ensuring your teen gets adequate sleep and providing nutritious meals and snacks to keep them going. Encouraging regular movement such as a short walk would do them the power of good if they’re chained to their desk these days.
It’s important to be available, but parents must also respect their teen’s space; you’ll know yourself how much well-meaning interference your teen can tolerate!
It’s normal for teens to feel some level of exam stress – it can even be a motivator – but excessive anxiety can be extremely harmful and have long-term detrimental effects on their mental health. Talk openly with your teen about how they’re feeling and consider seeking support from the school or a wellbeing professional if you sense it’s all getting too much.
Being a calm, supportive presence in the background can be more powerful than we often realise. Your teenager may not always show it but your empathy and encouragement at exam time will be something they will come to deeply appreciate.
We all want to do a good job at this parenting malarkey – and guiding them smoothly through the state exams will surely earn us a gold star!
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