A MOTHER who lost her eight-year-old son in 2011 is urging other bereaved parents to attend grief cafes in Buncrana.
The drop-in cafes are being organised by Anam Cara, the all-island organisation that supports bereaved parents.
The events are being held at the Inishowen Gateway Hotel on May 14 and June 11 from 7.30pm to 9pm.
Leeann Callaghan from Carndonagh told how her bright and bubbly son Hugh Simpson Callaghan died suddenly in January 2011, plunging the family into the darkest of times.
Ms Callaghan, a mum of seven who co-ordinates a child and adolescent therapeutic centre called Hughie’s Corner in honour of her little boy, believes that bereaved parents can benefit greatly by coming along to the cafes.
“It’s so important that parents have that time and space. Sitting with others who understand that grief is quite unique to what Anam Cara provides,” she said.
“When you have lost a child, you’re expected to put a broken family back together. When I think back to the early days of when we lost Hugh and I was pregnant with my son Sean at the time, I realise I was only functioning.
“Having that space to meet other parents is like a lifeline and it doesn’t matter if you’re newly bereaved or bereaved a long time.
“When such a traumatic event happens in your life, you can get stuck there; having Anam Cara is so important.
“Parents think they’ll be grand and you’re always thinking about your kids. As parents, we did that and that’s how Hughie’s Corner arose, but we all need support.”
Hugh Simpson Callaghan.
Ms Callaghan, who is also mum to Jonathan, 26, Jade, 25, Kiersha, 19, Seanice, 17, Sean, 15, and Meisha, 13, explained that the cafes are aimed at parents and will be facilitated by grief counsellor Olive Morrissey, who has a post-graduate qualification in children and loss with the Irish Hospice Foundation.
And she said the grief cafes will be a space where parents of bereaved children don’t have to pretend they are OK.
“We do that; we walk around and people are asking ‘how are you?’ and you say ‘I’m OK’. You go home, close the door and the mask comes off.
“The cafes will give parents the chance to sit with each other in a private space. There’s no pressure on anyone to speak – just come along,” said Ms Callaghan.
“Having to speak would’ve put me off a group in the past. Now I know I can go and I can just sit and just be in a room where people understand.”
According to Anam Cara CEO, Michelle Reynolds, the death of a child changes everything in a parent’s world.
“The grief is lifelong and unique and it can feel very isolating, especially when those around you may not fully understand,” she said.
The events are free and anyone wishing to register for the grief cafes in the Inishowen Gateway Hotel on May 14 and June 11 can do so by visiting www.eventbrite.ie and searching Grief Cafe for Bereaved Parents- Buncrana.
For the months of May and June, these events are happening instead of the charity’s usual parent support evenings in Letterkenny.