By Louise Flanagan
Every so often, Letterkenny Babies Facebook page receives a message that resonates with hundreds of readers.
Recently, one such message came in: “I hope this doesn’t come across as preachy, but as an older page member, I wanted to reassure younger parents who might be feeling under pressure this Christmas.
“My children are all adults now, but back when they were young, myself and my husband went through some really tough financial times. We tried our best to keep the kids unaware of our struggles, but it broke my heart at Christmas time when we couldn’t buy them the coolest toys and the latest gadgets. They were always delighted with whatever they got, but I still felt bad that they didn’t get what they wanted.
“I put myself under fierce pressure to provide for them over the years and I know it’s not a nice situation to be in, but from the child’s perspective, they will be happy out with less toys than we imagine. We are often guilty of heaping the pressure on ourselves.
“Now, when I ask my grown-up kids to reminisce on their favourite memories of Christmas, they often think back to the years when we were stone broke – the random gimmicks that Santa surprised them with are what they remember.
“None of them feel hard done by that they didn’t get the big ticket items. In fact, they have all grown up to be well rounded, hard working and successful adults and I’m very proud of them.
“If you want your kids to have good memories of Christmas, spend time with them – not money. I wish someone could have talked some sense into me back in the day.
“Maybe it’s unavoidable parental guilt, but try not to stress about buying all the things. Your children will look back with appreciation and fondness as long as there is happiness and fun in the house.”
This message was warmly received by page members, with many commenting that they had similar experiences, either from the perspective of the parent or the child.
One member wrote, “I had a conversation about this very thing recently. When I ask my kids, now aged 23 and 26 about past Christmases, they never remembered what gifts they got; they just remember us all being together, watching Christmas movies and playing games. Creating memories is more important than any gift.”
Another parent wrote, “Absolutely, I agree with everything you have said. The pressure on parents is horrendous and if you asked any child in February or March what they got from Santa they probably wouldn’t remember or care.”
It is crazy that we put ourselves under such pressure. Our own understanding of what it means to be a kid at Christmas should be inspired by our own memories of Christmas. And could we list off all the toys we received back in the day? Unlikely. It’s the stocking fillers that stand out for most of us. Let that be a lesson to us now as parents.”
One member wrote, “My favourite Christmas memory as a kid, hands down every year, was what Santa put in Dad’s stocking. Although it wasn’t a stocking, it was his work sock hung up by a peg, and it was full of onions, coal, Brussel sprouts and turf. It sent us wild!”
In the words of the wise old Grinch, “Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”
Louise Flanagan is an admin of Letterkenny Babies Facebook page and the author of the children’s book series, Dragonterra and Dream Beasts. www.dragonterra.ie.
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